Thursday, February 13, 2014

So It's Not A Perfect Marriage

Here we are on the eve of Valentine's Day and I have committed to Celebrating Love on this blog this month. I woke up this morning with grand intentions to write something lovely and inspiring about true love in honor of February 14th...and then...Hubby and I had an early morning tiff just before he left for work.

Very lovely and inspiring don't you think?

It was a silly fight over nothing...coupons on the counter. Seriously...that's how bad it is around here. This is what we are down to arguing about...coupons on the counter. And honestly, as ridiculous as it sounds as I write it down...I really struggled to get over it.

I just knew I was right...justified...and did I mention right? Ugh. So much for my "It's Not About Me" theme today. Hubby didn't throw that in my face, but he could have. I probably wouldn't have received it very well because minutes (or maybe even seconds...it's all a blur now) after he left, God threw it in my face gently nudged me "uhm...remember...it's not all about you."

No...I didn't want to hear that from the Lord right then.

This is the thing about loving marriages...they are not perfect. True story. I would say mostly because a marriage is made up of two pretty imperfect people...with imperfect motives...and imperfect focus...and imperfect attitudes.

Hubby and I met when we were 16 and 14. Our relationship started out as a friendship...developed into really close friends...who dated...and here we are married to our best friends. We grew up together. We know each other pretty well. Too well sometimes. Shockingly not well enough at other times. Hence the tiff.

This crazy argument has hung over me all day. It made me sad and mopey...and I had no intention of being sad and mopey when I woke up this morning. I had no intention of arguing over something silly this morning either...but we did...and the whole spirit of my day was changed.

Instead of writing about Celebrating Love, I found myself going back over our conversation and declaring to myself that I was right. I was refusing my goal of it not being about me. And it's embarrassing, but true, I allowed this attitude to affect my Bible study time and my prayer time.

Then I got busy with my day's To Do List and I didn't think about it for a while. But the gloomy feeling stayed with me anyway.

As the afternoon wore on and I completed my tasks...I grabbed the offending pile of coupons off the counter and went through them. I threw away the ones that were expired and I sorted the rest of them and put them in our coupon folder. Step One complete.

Then I had a decision to make...what was Step Two going to be? Continue to harbor hurt feelings over something not worth it or was I going to move on...just let it go? And you know what popped into my mind as I mulled this over? So...our marriage isn't perfect. Shrug.

And there you have it. The majority of the time it kind of feels like it is. We go days...weeks...even months really without a tiff, but then our imperfectness creeps out and there we are facing the ugliness of a misunderstanding. I don't like it. Hubby doesn't like it. So why do we do it?

Because it's not a perfect marriage...but it is a real marriage built on friendship, love, and the God who created marriage. And that's why we will be okay. We don't need a perfect marriage. We need to be loving and forgiving. And I know without a doubt that we can be.

Hubby is so much more important to me than coupons. He is so much more important to me than me being right. Our marriage is so much more than a silly little argument. It is filled with love and forgiveness.

So no...our marriage isn't perfect...but on this Valentine's Day Eve...I can truly say: I love my husband and our marriage.

And it really does kind of feel perfect to me. Sigh.

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