It was the weirdest thing...this morning I was reading my Bible when a painful memory from the past hit me...and it hurt all over again. Has that ever happened to you? Something that happened long ago...and you thought you had let it go...but then out of nowhere there it is again smacking you in the face? UGH.
I hate when that happens. And when I was reading my Bible no less!
You know...that ugly hurt stopped me for a minute. For just a minute I was right back there in the conversation again. I was hearing the hurtful words all over again and I almost...just almost let them hurt me again!
I really thought I had long forgotten it. I thought I had moved on and let it go. Apparently not.
There I sat with my Bible open and I looked down and saw God's Love laying right there in my hands. I was reminded right then and there that it is HIS words that matter. It is what HE thinks of me..and what He says to me that should be my focus.
So...I pushed that negative thought aside and went right back to reading God's loving words. Within seconds that old hurt was gone and I was once again filling my mind and my heart with the love that can only come from God.
As I sit here thinking about how the wound of that conversation suddenly burst back open this morning, it crosses my mind how thoughtless the person was that said those afflicting words. But then again..as I ponder it some more...I'm sure there are plenty of people that could bring up a conversation with me in which I said something harsh that hurt them.
Thinking about that doesn't make me feel any better than how I felt this morning when I was reminded of that being done to me. It leaves me with an icky feeling I really don't like. And I truly am so sorry for any words I have ever said to anyone who hurt them. I don't want to be that kind of person.
You know forgiveness really is such a gesture of love. All of us have needed it bestowed upon us at least a few times in our lives...and all of us have had to decide if we would offer it many times as well. It's one of those amazing gifts we eagerly hope to receive, and yet at times it can be very difficult to dole out.
Oh the irony...
The funny thing is as I sit here writing this I truly do not even remember the hurtful words that came back to distress me this morning. I honestly can't remember them.
Thank you, Lord. Thank you for taking that painful moment in time from my mind. I hope it never returns to my memory.
Today I forgive those words and just want to forget they were ever spoken. I really do believe that a great way to Celebrate Love is to offer forgiveness.
Even when it's for a long ago past event that suddenly came to mind.
Maybe especially then.
And don't worry...it wasn't YOU. (wink)