Tuesday, January 15, 2013

A Place Where I Belong

I am guessing I got a much better night's sleep in the Hug Bed last night, because today I didn't struggle with either one of my January Quests.  Thank you God for another day and another chance!

I woke up a little easier today, saw Hubby off to work, had my quiet time with the Twins, and then when I woke up enough, I headed downstairs to walk two miles on the treadmill and lift some weights.  While I walked, I finally finished up my Bible study video for this week's lesson.  Let me tell you, Beth Moore's The Law of Love is full of good stuff!

After I finished up the video, I still had a mile to go, so I tried to read email and blog posts on my phone.  It's not that easy to do while trying to keep a good pace on the treadmill...  I'm not sure I'll be trying that again...

Later in the day, I chatted with a couple friends which got me to thinking...

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Have you ever struggled to belong?  I certainly have.  The first memory that comes to mind is junior high.  {Shudder}  There are some memories from that era I wouldn't mind forgetting. 

You would think by the time a woman is in her 40s belonging would not be an issue.  If you would think that...then you would be wrong.  Sorry.

I have had many many experiences at being the new person in a new environment.  And while this can be difficult, I am fairly good at jumping in, making friends, and finding my place....almost every time.  Almost. 

There have been a few times - even in my adult life - when I just didn't feel like I belonged.  And you know what?  I have found that whether you are an awkward 13 year old or an unsure 40 something, it's not a good feeling.

Not long ago, the Engineer told me he was so tired of being the "new person".  It might come as a shock to him, but his mother knows exactly how he feels.  It's not fun to be the new person. 

Everyone in the group is assessing you - deciding if you fit in with them.  There are inside jokes you don't get, stories that would be so funny if you had been there, and memories that don't include you. 

Sure, given time you might become a part of the group and have jokes, stories, and memories to enjoy, but for now...you are the new person that no one knows.

Due to Hubby's job, we have moved a number of times.  Some of those moves have been an easy transition.  We have found friends right away that welcomed us with open arms.  Other times, it's not been so smooth.  Sometimes it has taken months, many months to find a place where we belong.  Those in-between months can brutal.  They are filled with loneliness, quiet days, and quiet phones.

Our little family has really struggled with feeling like we don't belong in our current place.  It probably seems crazy to some people, because we live less than two hours from where Hubby and I grew up.  We are just miles away from the only home we knew for the first 20+ years of our lives. 

How in the world can we feel like we don't belong here?

Maybe it's because it isn't exactly where we grew up - it is a different community.  Maybe it's because it's been over 20 years since we lived in the area and things change.  Maybe we have changed too much. 

I don't know, it's not like I haven't given it a chance.  I really wanted to like it here, settle in, and make friends.  I have reached out, participated, and initiated opportunities, but it just hasn't worked out like we had hoped.

What I do know is less than two hours down the road are family. People who love us and care about us, even if we don't always feel like we belong where we are right now.  And for that we are thankful.

I also know our little family isn't the only ones to ever go through this.  Just today I chatted on the phone with my sweet friend, the Tea Queen.  She was someone who really reached out to me when I was the new girl once.  Now she is in a new place and struggling to belong.  I miss our little afternoon teas.

After hanging up with her, I chatted via text with another dear friend, my bestie, the Gourmet Hostess.  She too has had her times of struggling to belong in a new place.  And I tell you, I wouldn't even want to think about how my life would be without her friendship.  When I met her, she (along with several other gals) welcomed me with open arms before we had even moved into our new home.  And I soon learned I loved hosting events with her!

I am so grateful to both of these friends...when I moved in near them, they made me feel like I belonged.  And truly, those two aren't the only ones. I have several wonderful friends who have given me a place to belong in this life. 

And to each of them, I say: "I am so grateful for each of you and for being a place where I still belong."

Later today, while driving in the car, this song came on the radio:

It was a great reminder to me.  While it's great to feel like we belong here on earth, as Christians, we can rejoice that if our circumstances aren't what we would like for them to be, it's only temporary, because this isn't IT.  This is just a journey to where we truly belong - with Jesus.

Thank you Jesus, for being the place where I will always belong.


  1. That was so beautiful and so truthful. Thanks for including me.
    Tea Queen

  2. With me, Tea Queen, you will always have a place to belong! Love you friend!


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